Finding Oneself
by xSky-Of-Redx
Summary: From beyond the grave Dumbledore has given Harry and Draco an ultimatum, attend therapy together or be expelled. Eighth year. Eventual slash, rating for later chapters.


Despite staring out of the carriage window for almost four hours, Harry couldn't remember when exactly the sky had turned so dark. It seemed he spent more and more time these days just waiting for it to pass only to wonder where it had gone. Lifting his head from the cold glass on which it rested for the first time since sitting down, he glanced lightly around the small compartment. His eyes didn't quite take in anything they skimmed, as he continued to think of what was missing instead. He caught eyes with Hermione whose attention had momentarily been snatched from her book, at Harry's sudden movement. She offered him a small smile that he returned before awkwardly looking away. Though the moment was brief the feeling of sad understanding in her smile was not lost on Harry, and nor was the half of a broken mirror that she clutched in her hand so tightly it was just short of painful. The way he felt now he wondered for the first time if his coming back would be worth it at all.

This morning had been the first time either of the two had left Grimmauld Place in months. The battle was won, the dead had been buried and all that was left for the living to do was grieve and recover. Themselves, along with the Weasleys had all taken residence in the old house not long after the final battle, at first merely seeming an ideal place to hide away from the world but eventually becoming some kind of home. The first few weeks there had been rushed and ran into one another making it hard to remember which day was which.

Taking up most of this time was the trials of remaining Death Eaters. Harry was reluctant to attend but upon hearing the name of the first to be tried he put his own feelings aside to see this through to the very end. He had more than one score to settle with these evil beings, and if his attendance could only earn them an extra hour in Azkaban, he would make sure they got it. He felt at the very least, he owed that to the people that didn't make it this far.

Next were the funerals. All in one week that never seemed to end they had watched as the bodies of Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks and lastly Severus Snape had been put into the ground where they would lay forever. Before that week Harry had never been to a funeral before. He'd lost both of his parents, his god father and the mentor that had been more like family to Harry than anybody he could remember and yet he had never been allowed the closure of putting these people to rest. Deep down, through the pain of seeing the four coffins lowered, a small part of him was grateful that he could say goodbye to each of them one last time.

First was Fred. Harry, Hermione, Ron and the rest of the Weasleys cried and held each other while friends of the twins from Hogwarts gave the family space as they quietly paid their respects. A few that were close to Fred stayed after the service to comfort George. Nodding his acknowledgments to Oliver Wood and Angelina Johnson as they sat the heartbroken boy down on a bench between them, Harry left the graveyard alone, unable to find words to comfort the twin that had lost his other half in Harry's war.

Tonks and Remus were next. They had requested to be buried side by side and the sight of the two coffins sinking into the earth was almost too much for him to bare as he held Teddy close to him while his tears fell silently.

Then came Snape. Despite the relationship he had with his old potions master, this was the breaking point for Harry. Snape's funeral was by far the smallest with only two guests. Every surviving member of the Order agreed to attend Snape's funeral but in the haze of their own emotions, the once great man was, again, over looked. When they discussed the issue later, Hermione would argue that she wished she could be there but comforting Ron in his time of need had to be her first priority, although both her and Harry knew what a poor excuse this was. Believing himself to be the only attendee allowed him to keep himself together, to feel the pride that his mother would have felt knowing that Harry was the one to be there for her friend as he was laid to rest. He was not, however, prepared for the comforting, albeit awkwardly placed, hand that linked fingers with his as Severus was lowered into his final resting place. Harry Potter and Narcissa Malfoy let tears fall long after the muggle priest had finished his holy words that guided their friend to heaven, almost until the sunset. Without speaking, or so much as making eye contact, the two supported each other that long and awful day, just gently holding hands.

Staring at the broken mirror digging grooves into his friends hand, he remembered when it was first given to him by Sirius and only hoped that it would protect her relationship with Ron better than it had his with his godfather. Ron had after all, made no secret of how he resented the two for returning to Hogwarts in light of everything that had happened. Hoping to ease the tension between his two best friends Harry had offered the mirror to the pair of them in the hope that they could make their relationship work. A hope that was, unfortunately, withering between him and Ginny. Although he felt her pain he sincerely doubt that she understood his, and he saw Hogwarts not only as an opportunity to move on in his life, but to also put distance between himself and the co-dependant red head. Lifting his eyes to meet Hermione's he spoke for the first time in so many hours his voice croaked.

'Shouldn't be long before were there, we should change'

Hermione agreed with a simple nod and waited for Harry to leave the compartment before undressing. Harry grabbed his folded uniform from the bench beside him and headed for the bathroom to dress himself, feeling every pair of eyes on the train burning holes in his skin as he passed.

When Harry returned to the carriage their was an envelope sealed in red wax that bore the Hogwarts crest. Harry looked questioningly at Hermione, who shrugged one shoulder and replied

'A prefect dropped it in just after you left'

Harry hesitantly opened the letter to find McGonagall's familiar handwriting,

_Mr Potter_

_First and foremost I am delighted that both you and Miss Granger are gracing the school with your presence to complete your education. Only the two of you along with four students from Slytherin house will be attending an eighth year and we welcome all of you sincerely. I imagine you will be looking forward to a relatively relaxing year at Hogwarts, but I am afraid that once again we must ask more of you than anybody else. As you know each eighth year student will be reporting to my office after the sorting feast, but I should warn you that yourself and another student will be asked to stay, to discuss the wishes of our late Headmaster. We will speak more on this matter tonight, until then, have a good journey and welcome home._

_Kindest Regards_

_Minerva_

'McGonagall wants to speak to me later' Harry said handing the letter over to his friend, who had packed her books in his absence and frankly looked quite lost without something to read. She scanned the letter quickly and asked

'Who do you think will be joining the two of you for this little talk?'

'I assumed it would be you' Harry replied furrowing his eyebrows ever so slightly and resting his head against the window once more watching the darkness fly before his eyes.

'Harry if it was me she would have said so, she mentions me in the letter once what would stop her doing so again?' At her friends obvious lack of interest she decided to continue. 'Its going to be Malfoy.'

This certainly got his attention, his head left the window once more and despite his overt anxiety Hermione was relieved at finally seeing some human feeling in her friends eyes once more as they locked with hers.

'You don't know that, it could be any-'

'Harry its him. You read the letter yourself, there are only four Slytherins and the two of us this year and we saw them get on the train. Of Goyle, Nott, Zabini and Malfoy, with whom do you think Dumbledore would have- shall we say- unfinished business? We have already established that it isn't me, it has to be one of them and nobody went through more last year than you and him.'

The look she gave her friend may as well have said 'you know I'm right' and he answered this with a groan that may as well have whined 'but he's an arsehole.' Hermione chuckled gently as the train chuggered to a stop at its destination.

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Harry thought he'd be able to stand the stares and whispers but the first five minutes of the sorting had proven him wrong and so he spent the night waiting for his meeting with the Headmistress on the spiral staircase by her office. He heard the footsteps approaching as McGonagall arrived with the other five students in tow and he stood, avoiding eye contact with everybody but Hermione. They were led into the office where McGonagall sat behind her grand desk while they all stood awkwardly facing her.

'Firstly I would just like to thank the six of you for choosing to return here I know it can not have been an easy decision to make.' After a small smile at each of them she became business like, 'I also understand that given recent events you may not have the easiest time settling into an entirely different year group and since there are only the six of you, you will all be given your own bedrooms this year.'

At this point small envelopes appeared in front of each of them and as they reached for them, McGonagall continued to explain,

'In these envelopes are the names of the paintings behind which your bedrooms will be hidden, directions to the paintings and your individual passwords. All six rooms are in a reasonably quiet area of the castle for your own privacy but your are of course still welcome in your respective common rooms. I assume you all know that you will be attending classes with the seventh year students, so if there are no questions, Granger, Nott, Goyle, Zabini, you may all leave, I imagine you will be needing a good nights sleep.' she finished dismissing the four with tight lipped smile before conjuring two chairs an gesturing her two remaining students to sit. They both obliged still not looking at each other.

'Mister Potter, Mister Malfoy, I'm sure you gathered from the letters that were given to you earlier today that I have something rather important to discuss with you.'

She pulled an official looking parchment from her drawer and held it on the desk in front of her.

' In his wisdom and great affection for the both of you, Albus left a request in his will.' she paused almost nervously and looked from one of them to the other, there obvious discomfort was not lost on her. Deciding to take the bull by the horns, she read from the parchment

'Under the condition that surviving the war, both Harry James Potter and Draco Lucius Malfoy return to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they must twice weekly attend therapy together. Their continued residence and education at the aforementioned school is dependant upon a certified psychotherapist being satisfied that they are willing and achieving an amicable relationship by whatever means he/she feels are necessary.'

The silence that ensued seemed to echo through the room and after several minutes without reply Minerva spoke up once more

'I'm afraid that as this was written during Dumbledore's reign as head of the school, the condition is binding. If you fail to comply with his wishes you will unfortunately both be expelled.' After another solemn look at the two young men she chose to put them all out of their misery. 'But of course that would be your decision. Your therapy sessions begin tomorrow night with a general assessment of your relationship. You both have until 8pm tomorrow to decide how you will act upon this news, until then you should both be heading to your bedrooms to sleep on the idea.'

Malfoy didn't need telling twice as he stood abruptly and stalked out of the office without a word. Harry spared a glance at Dumbledore's sleeping portrait wanting to wake him up and call him a sadistic old bastard but instead settling for leaving the room in a similar fashion to his nemesis.

He found Hermione sitting where he had before, waiting for him.

'What the hell happened? Malfoys just stormed passed me with a face like thunder.'

Harry winced for a second before replying ' As of tomorrow he and I will be attending couples therapy.'

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End file.
